Watching Daily At Wisdom's Gates

 My dear daughters, I want to conclude as I'm sure I should have started, by asking for forgiveness for being absent. I even hope and pray for reconciliation, but understand if you'd rather not. I pray that in the many years to come (unless Jesus returns first), God turns my life around and enables me to become a blessing to you rather than a failure.

 I was originally going to call this chapter 'what really matters', but that makes it sound like all the other things I've addressed don't really matter. Of course character, education, vocation and pastimes matter. They don't matter as much as eternity though. Your experience of those four things might be bad (hopefully not!). Even so, you could still gain eternal life. Perhaps you'll have unrighteous characters. Yet Jesus promised that those who hunger and thirst for righteousness will be happily filled with it. You might get a good education (hopefully). Most importantly, may you be able to echo John Newton's dying words, 'I don't know much, but I know I'm a great sinner, and Christ is a great Saviour'. Maybe you'll have poorly paid jobs, although I would like to think you'll be paid well for good jobs. 'Blessed are the poor' Jesus said, 'for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven'. We're to love God wholeheartedly, an

 Unlike 'vocation', 'pastimes' isn't a very flattering title. It sounds like passing the time, almost frittering life away. That is a danger. I heard about a retired couple who took to collecting shells as a pastime. What would they say on the day of Judgement, the preacher speculated, 'Look Lord, here's our shells!'? There isn't necessarily anything wrong with pastimes. God gave us a day of rest a week. We're not machines, robots to work 24/7. Grace and Nicole are good at dancing, and I'm sure Serena will be too. I hope you all learn to swim. I hope you all enjoy music, and continue to sing well (Serena, I'm sure your time will come!). Above all, I trust that you will even be at leisure to the glory of God. Maybe you'll continue to sing His praises, perhaps you and your family will serve Him somehow. All things are possible for those who believe in God.

 I was originally going to call this chapter 'career' which might have been fine, but 'vocation' sounds more impressive, and I think carries with it a sense of 'calling'. I don't know what you'll be called to do in life as your vocation. Maybe you're be nurses or teachers. Perhaps you'll be businesswomen like nonna. Maybe you'll be wives and mothers like grandma. Honestly, I don't particularly mind what you do in life, as long as it's good honest work. Joy and I used to joke about our respective cultural expectations for children. My culture would say 'as long as you're happy'. Joy's culture would demand you attain to a professional career like a doctor or lawyer. I don't think it's either/or, but both/and. Of course we want you happy, but also successful and prosperous in life. There's even more important things than good work. You could work hard and gain the whole world, but if you lose your souls, the w

 Education is important. 'Knowledge is power' is a popular saying in the world. There's some truth to that, but the Bible is more equivocal. 'Knowledge puffs up'. Education is good, but if you're educated, don't get proud and arrogant. We should never lose our curiosity and desire to learn. The most important thing for you to learn is how to get saved for eternity. There's no point being intellectual if you end up being lost forever. The Bible is able to make you 'wise for salvation'. That is the most important thing. It's possible to be an evil genius: God doesn't want that for us. He wants what's best for us. Grace, you used to want to be a nurse, now you want to be a teacher. Don't worry about changing your mind: I'm still not sure what I want to be when I'm older! Nicole, you want to be a teacher, and you play teachers with Grace very well. It's not easy, but it's a good, honest job. Serena, I'm sure at the

 The next few chapters are important. The most essential however is the last chapter seven. Feel free to skip ahead to it! This chapter is all about having good character (which feels hypocritical for me to write about). It's important, no doubt, but surprisingly, it's not essential to have a good character to be saved by God! God saves His people despite our flawed characters. The dying criminal on the cross hardly had time to improve his character, he just put his faith in Jesus. Having said the above, if we are saved by God, He will improve our characters. We might not be perfect this side of eternity, but we'll be better than we would be if it wasn't for God. I"m glad to say you all have great characters. I love how unique you all are. Grace, you're a bit sensitive like me; Nicole, you can be a bit fiery like Joy (!); and Serena, well you're pretty serene and relaxed (unless you're tired, like us all!). So if you've already got good personality

 I've vaguely heard people talk about 'trust issues'. I'm sure there's deep psychological study into them. I'm not an authority on them, but here's my perspective. You've probably got trust issues through no fault of you're own, because of your absentee father. I think they sometimes call it 'abandonment issues'. Maybe you think I am going to ask you to trust me. To be honest, the onus is on me to restore the trust I have broken by my absence. Honestly, the problem with trust in people is that it is naive. None of us are completely trustworthy. 'The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can understand it?' Even if a prince comes on a white horse to sweep you off your feet, don't trust him! That's not just an overzealous dad talking, it's God's word! 'Don't trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation'. Even if the prince is well meaning, he's going to die, a

 For starters, I want to explain why we named you as we did. Grace, our firstborn, your name means 'an undeserved gift', and that is exactly who you are to us. I personally feel like I've squandered my precious gift by being absent, but I never want to take you for granted again. I'm sorry I've not treasured you as I ought. Gloria reminds you of your life's purpose: to glorify the Lord God Almighty, your Creator and Sustainer. If you trust in Him, you will know Him as your Lord and Saviour. He is worthy of all glory as your Master and Maker and as the Sovereign King over all. Izaka means that in God, you lack no good thing. He provides for your every need. He is worthy even if He didn't look after us, but that He's looking after sinners like us is a wonderful mercy. What can I say about my first fruits? Your teachers gave you good reports. As your (admittedly biased) dad, I'm delighted to say that I can honestly give you an excellent report. I know y

 Why am I writing this? I'm wanting to offer some fatherly counsel to my daughters. I'm fully aware that I have little right to do as as an absentee dad, but for me to share something is surely better than to offer nothing. Why 'My Dear Daughters'? This title, I appreciate, feels disingenuous when I'm not there for you. If you were more dear to me, we wouldn't be apart. It feels like I've disqualified myself from describing you as my daughters. However bad I've been as a dad, you've done nothing to disqualify yourselves as my daughters. I hope you don't disown me as I deserve, but are willing to hear me out. So, however hypocritical it may sound, you are my dear daughters, and I long for forgiveness and reconciliation. In the meantime, this writing will have to suffice. May it encourage you and help you in your lives, until we meet again.

 What has inspired me to write a book for my daughters? Bear Grylls! We used to watch Bear in You Vs. Wild together. He has written a book to his three sons, so I thought I would write something to my three daughters. I feel woefully inadequate, with me not being there for you. Nonetheless, even if I don't qualify as a dad, you will always be my daughters, and it seems like this is the best I can do. There's a saying, 'don't shoot the messenger!' To be honest, coming from me, the messages in this book might not seem credible. Nevertheless, I think it's better for me to write something as honestly as I can, than not at all. A cliche I often say is 'two wrongs don't make a right'. It's wrong that I'm not there for you. Yet it would also be wrong for me to fail to communicate good things to you. I hope you are blessed by my attempt.